“When we can no longer change the situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Viktor Frankl
(Note: Written February 5th)
This is me right now. The house is a disaster. My bathroom has a million things on the floor. I just watched Tidying with Marie Kondo and I go the tidy bug. I am Marie Kondo-ing. Everything in my house. I need it drastically because I never really moved into this house. I was pregnant a year ago and when we moved it I was going to throw up at any moment. Boxes were left unpacked and breast pads were pushed into every single drawer along with nipple cream and toothpaste.
We Are Moving in a Week. So for Some Reason, I am Tidying.
We are upset. We have to move. The owner is selling our house. I have a baby. I don’t want to move. This was the dream house. The house we could finally afford to rent. Our first house. And when I envisioned my dream with my fertility coach after three miscarriages, she challenged me to pick out a picture and focus where I wanted my future family to be.
When my second daughter came home from the hospital and I sat on our brand new couch we just got from the furniture store I realized, this is it. I am perfectly happy right now. This is my dream. This is where I wanted to be. This is what I envisioned on my worst day with my coach. This is it. This is what I worked so dang hard for. My business is going great. I’m living in the house I always dreamed of. My daughter is thriving at her school that we can walk to. My 3-month-old daughter finally got breastfeeding after 12 weeks of pumping after her tongue tie fiasco. Life is good.
Not Meant to Be
Until that darn 60-day notice to vacate was taped to our door on January 21st. Bomb exploded. Roof literally torn off the house. Where we work. Where my daughter slept her first nights out of the hospital. So many memories. Amazing neighbors. The house I dreamt of.
Not meant to be. Not this one. There is something better. God is whispering to me. I know this, but dang! Why! Two moves in a year is just unreal. Especially while pregnant and then again with a baby. Not fair, God!
But I know he is whispering to me…..”But I got you and there is nothing you can’t handle.”
I get it.
There’s nothing I can do. I’m not in control. If the owner wants to sell, that is totally his right to do so. (But I do hope it sits empty for months and he loses thousands because the situation has been a nightmare for the past year….)
Change Happens for a Reason
Tonight I realized something. As my husband and I had a day of bad-mouthing our stupid landlords and the unreal nightmare we have been put in, I realized there is a reason for this. God is using this situation. God is trying to tell me something. I know I’m not in control but what I’ve been telling myself for the last four months is that I am ready for my next level. I am ready to commit to being all that I am capable of becoming.
I literally have been reading an affirmation from The Miracle Morning every single night for the last four months. (Yes I do my miracle morning at night, not in the morning. It works for me!) The affirmation says “I am just as worthy, deserving, and capable of achieving extraordinary levels of success and all of my goals as any other person on this earth, and that the only thing that separates me from those at the top is my level of commitment.”
So, from this moment on, I am 100% committed to becoming the person I need to be through daily personal development and living with daily discipline – to easily attract, create, and sustain the levels of success that I truly want – and deserve- in my life.
Holy crap! I attracted this move! Dang it! Why does personal development and growth have to hurt so bad! I did though. I totally can see it. This experience is helping me become more of the person that I need to be. For four months I have been telling myself that I am 100% committed to becoming the person I need to be.
Committing to The Future
The tidying and organizing that I have been doing for five days straight are me committing to preparing for our new place that is going to help me reach those levels of success. I am literally discarding and giving away old things in my life that don’t match my commitment. I am ready to take better care of my belongings and my future house. I didn’t take care of this house. I treated it like crap. I haven’t been taking care of my clothes and my belongings because my brain has been in a little new mama fog.
I haven’t taught my 4-year-old daughter to take care of her clothes and belongings. All of the tidying we’ve done last week is not a roadblock to my goals but it is actually HELPING me reach my goals. My goal was to spend a weekly date with my daughter. I had high hopes of going to museums and the zoos on our date or just out for a meal.
But this week our quality time was sitting on the floor teaching her how to fold laundry. Seriously. Not my idea of a fun date, but you’ll never guess the quality conversations we had during that and how excited she is to be able to fold her laundry and to find her clothes and to see her underwear organized into different Disney characters like she wants it to be. The joy in her face could not be replaced by taking her to the zoo. I am setting her up with a life skill that she never would have gotten if I had not had the life change of needing to discard, and re-start fresh to get ready for the move next week.
I’m growing and others are growing because of me. My daughter is growing. My students and members are growing. My husband is growing.
Do you have any idea the impact on your life when you are 100% committed to reaching your goals, even when your life is crumbling…..
My success is coming and it’s for God’s purpose and it’s going to be because of this experience. I couldn’t reach that success with all the toys and stuffed animals and my old clothes and things that reminded me of hard times weighing me down. It’s time for a fresh start.
Romans 8:28 “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to this purpose for them.”
So as much as I hate spending eight hours discarding and re-organizing and packing for the big move….this time it’s going to be different. I am moving into a beautiful new house and ready to take care of this house. We are so in love with the neighborhood, and it is actually a better house than we ever could have imagined. I’m ready to treat it with respect and to commit to making my next level of success happen in that house. It’s where I will continue to write my book and to grow our business and membership sites. It’s where I will impact more women from my little office around the world. I can’t wait to move in and make it happen.
Other goals I wrote down at the beginning of the year were to go to church three times per week. We live far away from the church right now, and it’s a struggle.
Now that we are being forced to move….guess where we are moving back to? Blocks away from our old church. Way easier to reach that goal and so much more exciting to get back into being in community with people loving God and doing life together. I am excited and I know that is a big reason why this move is happening.
I’m moving blocks away from the gym and another goal is to work out five times per week.
I’m getting organized and ready removing all the deadweight so I can be 100% myself and productive and get after my dreams this year.
Now after looking at rentals and not being in control of our living situation, we never want this to happen again. My husband had to move a lot as a kid and I already see the negative effects of moving over and over on my daughter. She is going to miss her walls and her old room. We hear it over and over and there are tears!
So our vision and dream has shifted. We aren’t just comfortable here. We want to be in control. We want freedom. Just like I wanted to be my own boss. I want to be in charge and in control of my living situation. I want to own the home that we live in. I want my family and children to feel safe and secure and not worry about moving year after year or deal with a dishonest landlord.
So I got it. This move is helping me dream even bigger and grow even bigger. Oh, my word. This year is going to be a big one. Stay tuned!