Today’s post is written by Willie Pena, a writer who enjoys writing about business, marketing and career advice. 

In her new book, Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection, Debora Spar tackles the female fantasy of “having it all” and whether it is realistic and feasible for the modern woman. Spar is the perfect woman to tackle this topic since she has achieved success as a wife, mother, and one of the youngest women to receive tenure as a professor at Harvard Business school and president of Barnard College.

Despite the illusion of being an idealistic megawoman at home and in the office, Spar admits that aspiring to perfection in both domains is unrealistic and that women should instead seek a middle ground to find true happiness.

What Does it Mean to Have it All?

“All” has been defined by many women as a fulfilling career with financial success equal to men in their field as well as having motherhood, a successful marriage, and other thriving community relationships.

Spar and other experts now encourage modern women to move beyond the legend of Superwoman and find career success by seeking balance and happiness.  She said piling on expectations can make women feel burdened.  Instead, Spar said modern women should realize they don’t have to do everything perfectly and don’t have to be everything to everyone.

Spar’s views echo the voices of real women. Based on surveys done by Insights in Marketing, LLC in 2012, research found that everyday, modern women want to feel content with what they have and not feel they have to aspire to have it all.

Here are a few key findings from those surveys:

Key Finding #1: 

All of the women IIM surveyed reported some level of frustration with the traditional definition of having it all and the majority of them said that they had redefined it into something that better fit their wants and needs.

Indeed, 80% of women said that their definition was different than that of society and ALMOST ALL OF THEM said that happiness comes from something other than having it all.

Key Finding #2: 

What women said they wanted is to feel fulfilled and content by “having enough”. You can read more about the findings in this study here).

What is your definition of having it all?