Do you ever find yourself seeking guidance or advice about what you should do with your career when you already have the answer?
When I am second guessing myself on a decision with my business, I am notorious for asking a thousand questions of others until I find the answer I am looking for or until a consensus is in one direction or another. The problem with this is that it always makes me feel even more stuck, unable and not actually getting me any closer to the answer.
There are times it is completely warranted for me to seek the counsel of my business friends, mastermind partners and of other coaches because in those time I am actually stuck and I need to hear how they would get themselves out of it.
What I am talking about right now, though, are those moments in time when you have a deep intuition to do something but you are overwhelmed by the shoulds, opinions, and fear to make the wrong choice. When I start relying on the opinions of others, I end up not listening to my gut, my intuition and sometimes my own values.
This pattern is known as permission seeking behavior. We seek out permission when we are faced with our own insecurities about our decisions and our thoughts. We seek permission for someone or something to get the answer we already have an answer to.
For example, when I was deciding to leave my corporate position as a leadership development manager I was torn but had a gut feeling it was time to part ways. I would go downstairs and ask my very good friend to take a walk with me and weigh the pros and cons to leaving a very stable, well-paying job vs. leaning into faith about my gut and not knowing where my next paycheck would come from.
After our many, many months of this turmoil, I finally gave myself permission to leave. My friend had given it to me months before, my husband gave me permission long before that and even my parents (my natural go-to’s for permission) were all about me leaving. The only one having a problem was me. It was like I didn’t trust my own intuition or trust that I would do whatever it takes to make my dream a reality.
The moment I gave myself permission the weight was lifted, the clouds parted and unbelievable things started to happen. Now I have a thriving coaching practice, I teach at a college a few times a year, I have time to work on other passions and be home with hubby and kiddos.
See the thing is when we ruminate and seek counsel (when we already know our answer) is that we are just wasting time and brain space. We become tunnel-visioned and only focused on this issue until we get the answers we want to hear.
When we give ourselves permission, we give ourselves the power to be who we are and listen to our internal guidance of what is being asked of us.
Giving ourselves permission in this way is what it means to be brave and courageous in our own lives. Being courageous doesn’t have to look like superman or batman. Being courageous means showing up to your own life and standing up for it.
Permission to be brave in your career comes only from YOU.
Permission doesn’t have be leaving your corporate job or even starting a business, permission can look a thousand different ways. It can look like:
1. Sign up for that course that you have been eyeing for months.
2. Take an extra hour to work on your writing.
3. Let the dishes sit until the end of the day.
4. Set boundaries with clients, employees, friends, family…
5. Decline that amazing job offer because your gut tells you so.
6. Make your health a priority over work.
7. Spark romance in your relationship.
8. Be ok with where you are in life.
9. Ask for more responsibilities because you want to be challenged in your job.
10. Hire that coach that you know will change your life.
And the list goes on and on…
Permission to live your life is something you have to grant for yourself. The biggest lesson I have learned in all these years of personal and professional development work is that no one, absolutely no one is going to know you more than you know yourself.
Grant yourself permission to trust yourself and follow those big callings. Grant permission to be just 1% more curious than fear. Grant yourself to figure out what you actually want to be doing in your career. By granting permission, you never know where you may end up, who you might become or what you may end up doing.
Amanda Flisher is a certified personal development coach, health coach and a trained Gallup StrengthsFinder Educator. She began her private practice after several years of working in the leadership development field.She now partners with individuals and groups on how to understand who they are so they can apply it with confidence to everything they do. You can find her work at www.amandaflisher.com.
Amanda Flisher is a certified personal development coach, health coach and a trained Gallup StrengthsFinder Educator. She began her private practice after several years of working in the leadership development field. She now partners with individuals and groups on how to understand who they are so they can apply it with confidence to everything they do. You can find her work at www.amandaflisher.com.