Sitcoms and movies like to use the pervasive fear of public speaking for comic effect. Unfortunately, the tactic they most often suggest to combat that fear is imagining the audience in their underwear. Again, this is more for comedy’s sake than a valid, real-life solution. But a fear of public speaking is no joke. It can range from mild nervousness before a speech to true glossophobia, manifeting with physical symptoms such as nausea, dizziness, and shortness of breath. It can hinder your career, and your emotional well-being. But you can take steps to overcome your fear of public speaking. Here’s how.

1. Join Toastmasters

Since 1924, this non-profit organization has been giving people the opportunity to build public speaking skills by offering venues for practice. Other members who attend Toastmasters functions then provide the speaker with feedback and constructive criticism, all in an effort to help them improve while enjoying a safe, collaborative environment.

Toastmasters is run like a club, and requires a membership application and payment of dues. These dues go toward securing locations for group functions, as well as supporting materials. In addition to being able to practice your public speaking at these events, Toastmasters also introduces you to others in your situation. You’ll be able to discuss your fears, and gain insights from those who also struggle with—or who have conquered—those fears. You can check their Web site for a location near you, and if there isn’t one, Toastmasters will assist you in starting a group in your area.

2. Be Prepared

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? It’s not just a Boy Scout motto. Preparing yourself for a public speaking engagement can mean the difference between freezing up on stage and successfully delivering a speech. Being prepared also encompasses different aspects. Practice your speech until you have it down pat, and then practice some more. Practice in front of a mirror, and then in front of a group of close friends who will give you constructive feedback. Make an audio recording of yourself, and listen to it to find areas that could be improved.

Also prepare yourself mentally. Think positively, and visualize meeting your goal of coming to the end of your speech in a calm, confident manner. Verbalizing your fears, or continually thinking negative thoughts like, “I can’t do this” will only reinforce your fears. Don’t create a self-fulfilling prophecy for yourself.

3. Don’t Give Up

Above all, no matter what happens, no matter how many times you get stage fright, or even choke in the middle of a speech, don’t give up. The things in life that are truly worthwhile don’t come easy. They require hard work and perseverance. Giving in to your fears, and giving up on public speaking can not only be a blow to your career, but to your self-esteem.

If you find yourself in a public speaking situation that is overwhelming, take a step back. Maybe you need to start smaller, whether that means a shorter presentation, an easier topic, a smaller audience, or all of the above. If you can’t swim, jumping into the deep end isn’t always a good idea. You may need to start out in the shallow end and work your way to the deeper water.

Confronting your fear rather than letting it control you is half the battle. Not every method will work for everyone. You need to find what you’re comfortable with, and what helps you get through to the end of your speech. And if for you, that really does mean imagining the audience in their underwear, then go for it.

How have you overcome your public speaking fears?

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We all know that you can quite easily get yourself fired for using social media in the wrong way – criticizing the boss and mocking customers online are just a couple of the bloopers that have seen people looking for new work. However, on a more positive note, social media is also ideal for looking for a job and should definitely be in your arsenal of career-climbing tools. There are lots of social networks out there and so many businesses and valuable connections are using them – you should too. These are the main benefits:

• You’ll increase your knowledge
• You’ll get chance to show what you know
• You’ll make connections
• You’ll stay up to date with news and events
• You can find jobs and contacts in an instant
• Social media is free

Naturally, though, you have to do it right. Setting up a profile, uploading photos of drunken nights out and then asking who wants to hire you is unlikely to work and the wait for job offers will probably be a very long one. However, try these tips instead to get you on your way to landing the job of your dreams.

1. Be professional. In some cases it’s probably better to keep your professional and personal social media presences separate. For example, you may want to have a separate Twitter feed for your professional persona and your everyday one. The audiences are different after all. On your personal profile you can retweet celebrities, send daft photos to your mates and follow your pals to your heart’s content. On your professional profile you want to be following industry experts and relevant businesses. Tweet about the latest news in your field and retweet the tweets of respected professionals. It wouldn’t be relevant to your personal connections and likewise, tweets about what you had for tea might not work for the people you want to impress professionally. Even in your professional profiles you can still let your personality shine through – there’s nothing wrong with the odd non work-related tweet and some humour never goes a miss. Just keep in mind that you want to get a job through your efforts so consider what impression you might give off. If in doubt, keep it for your personal profile. Be aware that employers are increasingly looking up prospective staff on social networks so make sure your privacy settings are set up so that only friends can see your information. If you don’t want to lock your tweets to followers only on your personal Twitter profile, just think very carefully about what you say.

2. Hang out in the right places. Of course, we all know that there is Twitter, YouTube, Facebook and LinkedIn and obviously it’s a good idea to get on these sites but that is only scratching the surface. There’s so much more to these networks. For example, within them there are groups, hashtags and networks for many career niches. Whatever field you fancy working in, look for Facebook and LinkedIn groups you can learn from and contribute to, and set up twitter searches for relevant discussions. You’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll learn and get a feel for the industry. Social media doesn’t stop with the Big Four either – don’t forget all the blogs and forums out there too where you can make connections, learn and make yourself known.

3. Promote yourself. As well as looking for jobs online and through social media sites, you need to make sure your social media presence shows you at your very best too. Demonstrate what you know and how enthusiastic you are. For example if someone does a blog post you like, say a business you’d like to work for, for example, comment on it and try to add something to the conversation. If you see a relevant discussion on a LinkedIn group, take part, ask questions and give feedback. If you’ve made sure you’re getting involved in the right groups, your passion and know-how could well be noticed by those that matter. Why not start your own blog about something you’re passionate about and would like to do for a living? Be relevant and give value to readers but don’t be afraid to also let it be known in a professional way that you’re in the market for work – just don’t be too salesly/desperate.

4. Be creative. Creative uses of social media still get attention so think outside the box. Set up your own Twitter hashtag to get people talking or think about how you could create a social media campaign that goes viral. Look at what other people have done and see how you could adapt this for your own cause. Another idea is to start your own TV channel – it’s free on YouTube! Want to be a makeup artist? Demonstrate your expertise and creativity with how-to videos. See yourself as a TV critic? Blog or video your witty reviews and once you get going you can send the link to prospective payers. You just have to think about what would suit your niche. As you can see social media can be a real boost to your job search – looking for work is no longer about waiting for opportunities to be advertized. Social media allows you to be more proactive in your job search than ever.

How do you use social media in your professional career search and development?

Twitter Chat Announcement

I have been asked by Resunate to host a Twitter Resume chat tomorrow night that I am really excited about!  I will be answering questions about the right and wrong ways to showcase your experiences at a networking event.  Some of the questions are, “How do you recommend building your network offline?” and “How do you use networking to differentiate yourself in your job search?”  I hope you will join us on Twitter for the #ResuChat resume chat on Tuesday, Feb 21 at 8pm EST.  You can join the chat at this site - http://twebevent.com/mycr.  Can’t wait to chat!

Here are your career links to start your week off right!

• 10 Ways Email Can Derail Your Job Chances by US News
• Startups from a Recent College Grad’s Perspective by Ms. Career Girl
• 6 tips for staying in shape when you lead a busy career/personal life by Career Woman Inc.
• Bombshell in a Blazer by From the Gen Y Perspective
• What Top to Wear with a Beige Business Suit by Career Fashion Blog

In case you are reading this at work and can’t watch the video, you can read all of the great advice below instead!

1) I learned in your book that men are 4 times more likely to negotiate their first salary than women and asking for more money early in one’s career can mean the difference of a half a million dollars over the course of one’s lifetime.  What tips do you have for young professional women who are about to negotiate their salary at their first job?

The first thing is to know that in almost all cases that you absolutely should negotiate your salary because. The biggest mistake you can make is to not negotiate your salary especially in this environment because you are so grateful to have a job offer that you don’t even bother asking.  Just a small question like “is there any wiggle room with that” or ”can you go any higher?”  That alone can put thousands of dollars in your pocket.  The next biggest thing is practicing.  In the book, I talk about how I practice with my dad.  Since so many of us feel uncomfortable with negotiating, it is great just to practice saying the words.  You can have one of your parents or your friend act out the script with you. They can act like your future employer and you act like yourself since everyone is different how they want to phrase things.  Figure out what words you want to say and what makes you feel comfortable asking for a higher salary.

Another tip is to let there be silence especially when you are nervous, it can be easier to keep talking. After you ask, stop talking.  This can really help shift the pressure off of you and onto them because if you just keep talking they don’t have to say anything.

It’s amazing how much the dollars add up.  Once you have that first job offer so many of your future salaries are based off that salary, whether you get small raises or if you switch jobs you often base your new salary off your current one so it really adds up over time.

2) In the book, you recommend earning an income outside of your full time job as a self protection device in our current economy.  How can we figure out what it is we should do on the side?

This is my favorite topic right now because it has become increasingly important.  I think all of us feel like to some degree we could lose our jobs at any time.  So to have that backup, that small side income that you could ramp up if you had to just gives piece of mind. So in terms of figuring out what that could be you really have to think about what you love doing so much that you would do even if you were exhausted.  Second, think about what is marketable?  You just have to figure out what the intersection is of those two things.A lot of people use websites like http://etsy.com which is a craft marketplace, you can make handmade things and sell them.  Other people are more service oriented and offer coaching in whatever it is that they have expertise. You really just have to think about what you are good at and what you could sell in the marketplace

If you are doing it on top of another job, you are probably going to be tired when you are doing it.  And you are going to have to figure out a way to get that energy when you are spread so thin.  SO it has to be something that is energizing.

3) How can young professionals struggling just to make it at their first job out of college begin to start paying back their student loans and other debts?

The biggest first step is just getting organized.  SO many people when they first graduate or even years after, just don’t even know exactly what debt they have.  So if you can just sit down and make your priority list of where your highest interest rate debt is, who owns it and who you have to contact about it.  I also recommend making a second list of your savings goals because a lot of people it helps to look at those two goals together because once you start earning a decent salary and you can have some wiggle room to decide if you are going to put this money into savings or use it to pay off credit card debt.  Usually what makes sense for people is if you have any credit card debt whatsoever to pay that off first because it is so expensive and then rank your student loan debts sometimes people have variable rate debt that can suddenly shoot up in the coming years, you probably want to get rid of that first.  If you have debt at like 6% that is pretty high relative to the current savings rates so you probably want to prioritize that off.  Come up with a plan for yourself. I am a big organizer and I write everything down so I have it right in front of me to visualize it and see where your debt is and come up with your plan for how long it will take to pay off and how much you want to pay off on which accounts each month.

4) Do you have any online financial tools you recommend?

I use excel but I love mint.com, especially for people that who are more visual because it can help in terms of they put your money and your goals into pie charts and you can see how exactly you are paying things off and where your money is going. So I think that can help for people who are more right brain oriented to visualize instead of just looking at an excel spreadsheet.

5) What would you say to the person who says I will pay that off in a couple of years when I am making more money?

As soon as you make more money, you have more needs and more places that that money needs to go.  As we get older we get more and more responsibilies and suddently you have a mortgage, children and other responsibilities.  That is why even if you feel that you are hardly making any money, you might actually have more flexibility than you will have after ten years.  Of course when you just start and you r budget is so tight, it is totally fine to put your student loans on the back burner and make your monthly payment while you are just figuring out your budget but as soon as you get passed that initial crunch phase, then it is time to really come up with that plan.

6) I love how you devote a whole chapter on giving back and volunteering. How can we be givers and become deliberate about giving back part of our incomes?

I think one thing that is really hard is that we are constantly getting requests in this area.  Whether you have a friend that is running a race and you want to support them or we get things in the mail, and we feel that we don’t even have control and we aren’t empowered in our giving because it is spread out in so many areas.  The first thing is to really decide that you are going to be focused in your giving and really figure out what it is that you connect with and whether it is something that inspired you from a movie or a book that you read and then to learn as much as you can about that area.  And you still want to support your firend when they are running a race but overall you can really concentrate your giving, even if it is just $200 per year, you can really decide that you are going to support this non-profit and give to them every year.  If you take time to learn more about it And you can really become a empowered giver that way.

7) What is one thing you wish you would have known as a young professional woman just starting out in her career?

I wish that I had always done what I wanted to do instead of what I felt like I should do.  It’s so easy to get caught up in what you should do whether it is going to law school or some grad school program that you feel like you should do or taking a job you feel like you should do because it is the more serious or professional choice and your parents would like it.  It’s so easy to just go along that path with what you should do.  For most people they are lucky and at some point they realize they have gone wrong and corrected it but you can save yourself so much time and trouble if you just start with what you want to do.

What tip from the interview are you going to implement today? 

They come in many forms. The One-Upper always has an accomplishment that is better than yours. The Patronizer manages to make every statement sound condescending. The Interrupter always talks over you in a much louder voice. Difficult coworkers come in all forms, from The Kiss-Up to The Bad Team Player. Unfortunately, there is no way to avoid working with challenging personalities. It’s up to you to figure out how to work well with your colleagues, even when they are giving you a headache.  Here are some tips to help you keep it classy the next time you are faced with difficult co-workers:

• Analyze the problem. In order to make the most out of a bad situation, you have to first figure out what’s wrong. Pinpoint what is bothering you about your peer, and then brainstorm ways to improve the situation. Each personality type will require a different coping technique. For example, you might need to be especially calm with The Short Fuse but really upbeat with The Debbie Downer. Understanding the problem is the only way to come up with a solution.
• Don’t let annoyances get to you. Of course you are going to get frustrated when The Forgetter asks you a question that you have answered 45 times already. It may be tempting to spend your lunch break wallpapering Post-Its of your response on The Forgetter’s cubicle wall, but there is a better way to handle it. Acting on your emotions can lead to a world of regret. Instead, channel your frustrations into a constructive solution. Try responding to the question verbally and following up with an email. This way The Forgetter can refer back to the email instead of asking you again, and you can avoid the desire to yell.
• Know when to speak up. Keeping it classy does not mean you can’t address the problem directly. In fact, certain issues will require a straightforward approach. Learn when you can be subtle and when it’s time to speak up. If a coworker takes credit for one of your ideas, subtlety could work. However, if The Thief constantly steals your ideas, your credit and your clients, it is best to approach the problem head-on.
• Inspect yourself. Sometimes a glance in the mirror is all it takes to solve a problem. Stop and consider how you are feeling before directing your frustration. If you are stressed out about a project, you might unintentionally project your anger onto your coworkers. Scrutinizing yourself first can help lessen your irritation at your peers.
• Keep up the good work. At the end of the day, you should be able to take solace in a job well done. Even the most obnoxious encounter with a coworker will not change your successes. In fact, being able to work well with difficult people is a success within itself. Remember, you are probably not the only person who notices The Troublemaker. Being able to deal with challenging personalities shows your superiors that you can overcome any obstacle. Handling problem employees with class will only serve you well. After all, you might be their boss someday!

Do you have difficult co-workers?  How do you keep it classy?

Photo Credit: Victor1558

Dear Melanie Tom,
I absolutely loved this post! I cannot agree enough with you that internships are a valuable resource, not only to add to one’s resume, but also to contribute and enhance a person’s experiences and knowledge. In May I will be graduating so interviews and job searching are all that’s on my mind! My question to you is how you prepared for your interview at Disney? I notice that you said your credentials did not add up to other candidates’, so what do you think helped give you the upper hand in landing the job? What other factors do you think employers consider when interviewing applicants? 

I prepared for my Disney interview by doing my research and homework on The Walt Disney Company and specifically the actual segment (Disney Consumer Products) I was interviewing for so I could get a better understanding of the fundamentals of how the organization operates. Although I lacked the Business/HR acumen that Disney was seeking, I knew I could draw different examples on how my Sociology background and skills gained from my sorority were transferable in the business world. What ultimately gave me the upper hand was not just my solid examples of how I could translate my skills, but also my ambition and high drive; traits in which they were looking for in their ideal candidate.

Employers look for candidates that are articulate, ambitious, and passionate as they want to distinguish and identify individuals that will excel within the organization. If you possess those 3 qualities, you’re already captivating to Recruiters and Hiring Managers. Employers don’t want to hire individuals who are unmotivated to advance in their career or only want the job for the ‘time being’- employers do consider retention and turnover in their recruiting assessments. Lastly, another important factor employers consider is whether or not the candidate is a cultural fit to not just the team but the overall organization as a whole. It’s important that the newest addition to the team is a dynamic asset. Hope this helps and best of luck to you on your job search! Stay focus, and be sure to be confident! Feel free to connect with me via LinkedIn as well if you have any other questions! 

Contact Melanie on Twitter or LinkedIn if you have any other questions!

(photo: Search Engine People Blog)

What’s your advice? How do you prepare for interviews?

Dear Classy Career Girl, Is it better to have our hair up or down for an interview?

Recently I received this question from a reader. I asked for your suggestions on Twitter and here are your responses! Apparently this is one hot topic!!

What do you think?  Hair up or down? 

With a weak economy and so much competition for every job on the market, it is easy to get caught up in the race of just finding a job as quickly as possible — but maybe that is not necessarily the right approach. A survey done in late 2011 by RightManagement found that a staggering amount of people (84%) are not content in their jobs and plan to look for new jobs in 2012.

Why do so many people dislike their jobs? A large part of the reason is that they are just not a good fit with the job or the organization.

Chances are that you fit in with the 84% of people who are not content with their job in some way or another…and that is what has brought you to read this article. So, let’s take a look at why it is important to know your personality type when looking for jobs. This way, you will know which positions are a good fit for you while job searching. Ask yourself the following questions:

1) What type of work do you get passionate about?

This is important because if you can’t identify what truly ignites your motivation, then you won’t find a long-term job. If you have a hard time figuring this out, there are a number of questions you can ask yourself such as: What puts a smile on your face? What do you find easy? What sparks your creativity? What would you do for free? What do you like to talk about? What makes you unafraid of failure? What would you regret not having tried? If you can’t answer these questions, then ask your closest friends what they think the answers are. Others pick up on the excitement in your voice when you talk about certain things.

2) What type of management style is good for you?

This is important — although you may be a good fit with employees and the type of organization, this doesn’t mean you will be able to work with management easily. There are many types of management styles and you have to figure out which one works best with your personality. If you need guidance, then you may do better with a coaching type of manager, rather than a democratic or commanding one who doesn’t want to chit-chat but would rather see results.

3) What types of people do you work well with?

You will need to assess if you are more of a loner or a team player and what types of personalities you can handle. It is important to note what types of people gravitate toward you as well. The last thing you want to do is be bored because you want small talk during work while your cubicle mate has his or her earphones in all day. When you go on interviews, really assess the surroundings and see if the ambiance and current employees fit with your style and way that you would like to work.

4) Is your vitality at stake?

This is ultimately the most important reason to make sure you are a good fit for your job.Vitality is your inner power to live and grow to your full potential and gives you a sense of being alive and excited. A recent research study found that managers can employ four measures that will build off of each other to promote a culture of vitality and learning, which will help employees thrive at work. Here are the four things you should make sure are part of the company that you want to work for:

• Provide decision-making discretion—Empowering workers at every level to make decisions gives them a greater sense of control, more say in how things get done and more opportunities for learning.
• Share information—People contribute more effectively when they understand how their work fits with an organization’s mission and strategy. Doing your job in a vacuum is tedious and uninspiring; there’s no reason to look for innovative solutions if you can’t see the larger impact.
• Minimize incivility—Faced with such behavior, employees are likely to narrow their focus to avoid risks and lose opportunities to learn in the process. Corporate culture is inherently contagious; if you hire for civility, you’re more likely to breed it into your culture.
• Offer performance feedback—By resolving feelings of uncertainty, feedback keeps people’s work-related activities focused on personal and organizational goals. The quicker and more direct the feedback, the more useful it is.

Before you jump on that next job, do yourself a favor and get to know who you are a little better. There are many personality assessments out there and there are benefits to taking different types. The Myers Briggs Type Indicator is the most popular personality assessment tool.

What type of job is best for you and your personality?

Photo Source

This week I have two networking challenge interviews that I am excited to share with you! Stay tuned for the videos and make sure you watch (or read) my interview with Dawn Stanyon about how to effectively communicate at work.

Here are your career to start your week off right!

• How to Nail the Interview — When You’re the Interviewer by Forbes (it’s not always the person interviewing for the job who is the most nervous)
• Just Say Thanks: Why Accepting Compliments is Good for Your Career by The Daily Muse (You look nice today)
• Guest Post: The Grad School Debate: Back to School or Not? by Newly Corporate (Do’s and Don’ts – I love how easy this post makes this difficult decision)
• Where Are Women Taking Over (And Where Are They Not?) by Forbes (Watch out Men)
• Relationship Links on Valentines Day by ME (since tomorrow is Valentine’s Day I just had to throw this in)

(Note: If the video is going slow for you while watching it on my blog, head on over to youtube and watch it there instead where there are no issues.  Working this issue:)

In case you are reading this at work and can’t watch the video, you can read all of the great advice below instead!

1. How can young professional women have body language that projects confidence in the workplace?

Dawn speaks to many women and she sees the issues that women have with body language and communication.  It comes from inside.  Body language are tricks we can learn to help communicate and show an image of ourselves.  But, we have to be it inside for it to come outside for it to be perceived as sincere and honest.    Here are some quick tips:

• Be aware of your strengths and limitations with body language.  That could  be with working working with a friend at work or a best friend at home. Stand up and give a little presentation to them for 15 seconds and have them give you input.  Be aware of your body language strengths and weaknesses.
• Check your gestures.  It’s really important that you not do distracting gestures.  A lot of women touch their hair when they are talking to someone, even if it is a close co-worker you should really avoid doing that. Strange gestures with your hands like rubbing your hands together you also should avoid.  It means I am nervous and I am washing my hands of this situation.  So you want to try NOT to do gestures that distract.  You want to not have high gestures or low gestures, make sure you keep it between your shoulders and your hips.
• The most important thing to do to convey confidence is good posture. You have to stand up straight, have you shoulders back and your chin forward.  That’s how men project confidence. They take up space, they have big shoulders and have their arms out they are taking up space saying I am here.  Women need to do that too.  Women tend to put their head down or make ourselves smaller. So stand up straight and look forward!
• When you walk into a room, know that you always know more than your audience, keep this in mind! (or at least believe you do) and then your confidence will show.

2. How can we become better presenters and get over our fears of networking?

Join the club, it’s the most common fear in the world!  There are SO many tricks that you can learn for public speaking.

• You have to practice. The most nervous that you can be is when you don’t know what you are talking about.  Practice what you are going to talk about. Be an expert in what you are going to talk about.You have to be confident in your material (not Einstein).
• Practice some more.  Practice with the washing machine, the mirror or in the car, that way if you do it differently when you are presenting, it doesn’t matter.
• Practice breathing, women have a problem breathing when they are nervous. All your breath goes up into your throat, and your voice gets shaky and it makes it hard to talk. It’s because we don’t have enough air going through.  Before you speak, you need to go somewhere private, you need to do deep breathing from the abdomen. That brings oxygen up to your brain.  You think better and it slows down you pulse and your nervousness.
• Butterflies in your stomach?  Don’t think of them as those sad butterflys bashing against each other and making you feel sick. Think of them instead of colorful butterflies who want to share the information you are going to convey. This will help you feel excited instead of nervous. It’s also OK to yell in the car.  Yelling helps the oxygen get moving and is really good (if you are alone).

3. How can we communicate better with our bosses, clients and co-workers?

• The idea of good communication skills is so that you can succeed and build relationships.  Be aware of your communication strengths and weaknesses (or attributes and limitations) and have self awareness.
• Don’t avoid conflict because avoiding conflict leads to conflict.  It leads to stress and those butterflies that are bashing against each other in our stomachs instead of being enthusiastic and excited. You can be honest and sincere and put your issues out there and have discussions.  People love that and want to know what to expect from you.  If you are the kind of person that avoids conflict and doesn’t share, you can be perceived as passive aggressive and that is never a good thing.  Do be able to talk about things at work.
• It’s not all about you. When you are communicating with co-workers we often perceive that they are angry at us, or they don’t like what we are saying when that might not be true at all.  They have their own issues, maybe they are under a deadline or maybe they didn’t get to sleep until 2am because their baby was crying. We often project our own fears onto other people.  So you need to have big shoulders and if there is a problem, you need to talk about it and don’t always think that they don’t like you because it isn’t all about you!  We have to think of conflict as moving forward instead of a bad stop. 

4. What is one thing that you wish you would have known before getting into the professional world?

It’s OK to not be perfect.  It’s OK to make mistakes.  It’s OK to do smoething that you wish you hadn’t done, because if we don’t do those things we never grow. The most important thing is that we all keep growing and that we all keep learning. A terrible mistake is to think you know everything.  We are all flawed.  Put yourself out there and do big things!  If something doesn’t go right, make your apologies and don’t do it the next time.

What tip did you learn from the interview that you are going to implement at work?