One of my college professors, who also doubled as my career advisor, gave me terrible career advice. Instead of listening, I chose to do the complete opposite of what he said.
I told my advisor that I wanted to get my MBA.
My advisor told me to get married and have kids before going to grad school. He assumed that I would be a stay at home mom first and going back to grad school would help me improve the networking skills I would lose after having kids. According to him, going back for my MBA after being a stay at home mom was the best path for my future success.
If women continue to be fed this advice, we will continue down the same path of not making it to the top of any industry. Advice like this is telling women to quit climbing that ladder. In this video by Sheryl Sandberg, we learned that we cannot quit before we quit. We can’t pull back from work opportunities when we think of starting a family.
I know there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom or going back to grad school as a mom. There was one mom in my MBA program who was juggling work, school and her three kids! I don’t know how she did it. She faced daily guilt of not seeing her kids or husband day or night for three years. I cringe as I think that this is the path that my advisor wanted me to take.
Moral of the story: Not all advice is good advice. I am glad that I did the opposite of what he said. With my MBA in hand and a job that I am proud of, I am glad I didn’t listen!
Have you received bad career advice? Please share!
Photo Source: Rady School of Management
About Anna Runyan
Whoa. Back up the bus! Your adviser told you to get married and have babies? That is totally inappropriate. Your adviser should give you professional advice, not tell you when to reproduce. It’s true that it might be easier for many women if we didn’t get married and have children while simultaneously pursuing higher education, but many of us have done this successfully. I am offended by this advice.
By the way, I had a high school counselor tell me that I would never be accepted to the university I wanted to attend and, even if I was accepted, my parents never could afford to send me there. I graduated from that university in 1999. I received my master’s degree from a different university. Now I have been teaching for nearly 10 years at the university my counselor said I wasn’t smart enough to attend.
I hope young people take advice as just that, advice. Because, let’s be honest, it’s impossible to understand every situation. Some of these advisers/counselors are just wrong.
Hi Prof KRG! Thanks for the fabulous comment! Yes, he sure did tell me that. The thing that I didn’t mention in the post is that I went to a small, Christian school but I really don’t think that should matter. It wasn’t professional advice and I agree with you that he should not have told me to reproduce!
I LOVE your story about how you did the opposite of what your counselor told you. Did you ever see that counselor again? I can’t believe a counselor would say that! They are suppose to encourage students and motivate them, not knock down their dreams and hopes!
It seems like you have a lot of advice to share that would be useful for my readers. Let me know if you are ever interested in guest posting here at Classy Career Girl!
I kind of agree with your advisor. Even though he told you what to do in an extremely inappropriate manor, he was right to tell you to delay the MBA. How do I know? I had my MBA by 24. It was a great experience and it looks great on my resume. However, I was simply too young to obtain the benefits that an MBA offers most people. I was caught in the classic “too little experience vs. too much education” conundrum, which led to a difficult job search. I wish I’d have delayed it until a little later in life. Not because of marriage/kids, but rather I think I would have learned more with additional work experience backing me up. Also, the networking is a great point – it would have been better to use the networking to FURTHER a career rather start one.
Hi Sarah! Thanks for your input! I do agree that you should wait to get your MBA until you have experience as well. That point of his advice was spot on because I really wanted to go right after college. But, if I did, I really would not have learned anything. I think the advice I was offended the most about was just that he was telling me that I should be a mom first. That really should not have anything to do with when I get my MBA. I really do think your advice is really important for young college graduates though. I have so many soon to be college graduates ask me about getting their MBA now soon after college because they can’t find a job. I always tell them to work a few years but I don’t know if they will always listen to me!
Thanks for the great comment!
That’s pretty outrageous! I agree with Sarah that there are some benefits to studying later when you have work experience behind you that you can build on, but this is totally different from saying you should get on and have a family first.
One of my courses in my final year was finance, taxation and investment – in hindsight it should have been interesting but it was incredibly dry. I was asked to come to a face to face interview to following the exam to talk through my answers – they weren’t wrong but the professor thought that my aspirations for the fictious company were too high. He wanted an answer that said raise finance through hire purchase arrangements – I wanted it to list on AIM and get external investment. Even though I hadn’t actually failed he told me that he would only pass me if I agreed never to work in anything finance related, I was a law student so that sounded like an OK solution. A couple of years later I landed a great job doing corporate banking on the legal side, since then I have lead two major corporate restructuring and refinancing exercises and advised on the sale of several large businesses. It seems that I’m quite good at what I do and aiming high when it comes to financing is a pretty good mind set to have. Some advice deserves to be ignored.
Hi Louba! I am shocked that your professor told you that. Wow, that is outrageous! He never should have told you not to go into a field. I love that you proved him wrong and that you are aiming high! Glad you ignored your professors advice!
I definitely agree with following your gut feeling, and that we should not allow anyone to limit us in our career endeavours. Career women are pulled in so many different directions (by friends, family, cultural values and modern trends), so trusting your instincts and challenging yourself in whichever way you can is my mantra at the moment ☺. Great post Anna!
Kobie-Thanks! I agree there are so many different directions that we can be pulled in and we have to make our own decisions on what is best for us. Lots of paths to choose and sometimes you just have to go with it!
My eyes almost popped out of my head when I read, “get married and have kids before going to grad school.” That advice should NEVER be given. It is so important for young women to take the time after college to explore the world, find their feet, and spend time on themselves. Our website, http://www.shenow.org is based of the complete opposite of what your professor told you. We say, “Marriage? What’s the Rush?!” We are a community of women that believes in pursuing our careers and dreams, having adventures, and living our own lives first!
Thanks Brenna! I definitely agree with you! I will definitely be checking out your website! Sounds like it has a lot of great advice for young women! Love your mission!
Yikes! Way to do what you wanted to do!
My advisor in university kept trying to steer me in a different direction when it came to finding jobs, because the industry I wanted to work in was small, and there were other ones that were easier to get hired into. I was adamant and kept moving in the direction that I knew was better for me, but I was seriously unimpressed that someone who’s supposed to be giving me advice was trying to get me to take the easy way out.
After I went back to school for my masters though, I had a fantastic career advisor, and he helped me get everything I wanted from my degrees, and more! Moral of the story I guess is that you win some and you lose some… but only you’ll know what’s right for you!
Thanks Erica! It’s amazing how many different stories are coming out of this post. It seems like a lot of advice is given where we must take the opposite path!
That is awesome that you were determined and kept going in the direction that you thought was the best for you! You have to trust your instinct and go in the right direction for you. Thanks for sharing and commenting!!
Luckily for me, no really bad career advice. Kudos for you for trusting your instincts and going the opposite way. It paid off. Lesson here for me is knowing when to just stick to your guns and trust yourself!
Thanks for the kudos! It definitely paid off! I am really glad I didn’t listen. That is a great takeaway to stick to your guns and listen to your instincts!
Whoow! That makes me so angry. Good for you for following your own instincts. It is hard enough being a woman in this world trying to handle everything society expects of us. We don’t need someone who is suppose to advice us to cut us down.